Random thoughts about Gardening, Creating, Nature and of course Scottish Terriers!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

A Place For Mom

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Comfort Care.......Senior Connections...A Place For Mom...names that meant nothing to me until a few weeks ago.
How many of you think that you can do everything for everyone all the time and not burn out. I don't mean burn out as in,"gee I need a day to myself" or "man am I gonna crash big time tonight."

I mean the kind of burnout that leaves you feeling as though you will never be able to get out of bed and not feel whole again......the kind of tired that makes you feel helpless, hopeless.....angry, confused........

This is how I have been feeling for quite some time now.

Caregiving is more than a full time job.
It is a 24 hour, 7 days a week job. A job without pay, benefits, or time off for good behavior. There are no vacations. It goes on 365 days a year. And unlike raising a child, you do not see progress, when the person you are caring for has passed the age of ninety( I have had many people with good intentions, make that comparison.) I have for three years this month, taken on this challenge. Today I made a decision that will change the way I approach things.....and that is where A Place For Mom comes in.
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The wonderful people there are helping me put a program in place for Mom. It will be good for her, good for me, good for everyone in our home...including the furry and feathered children. We needed to do this quite awhile ago, but then again, you think you can handle it all.......

The lesson learned.....listen to your body....don't wait until life becomes unmanageable to the point of no return. All that being said, we will do our best to keep blogging away about animal antics, gardening highs and lows, and looking at life through the camera lense ;o)


  1. By the way...no apologies are necessary...you have had your hands more than full. Take care of yourself (if that is possible)!

  2. I've never thought of it the way you describe it - like a child but without the progress. I hope you find your burdens are lifted.

  3. Sometimes you just have to realise that you're only human. Hope G-dog and Beckaroo are giving you some comic relief.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Kendra & Bella

  4. Nancy, I'm hoping this all works out for you and you get the help you need. I wish we lived closer together so I could help you out.


  5. I'm sorry to return and find that you are facing such challenges. I know I'm quite far away, but if there is ever anything you think a distant pal might help with please e-mail me.

  6. Been there, done that. Don't ever feel bad about making this decision. Taking care of an aging parent is one of the most difficult things we can encounter. It's not just the physical and mental effort required every day, but also the emotional strain of dealing with the role reversal and watching our loved one deteriorate. Also, the emotional strain of watching what's happening to our parents and wondering about our own future.

    We all do what we have to do in this life to survive and do the best we can for our family members. And sometimes, what's best for our families is finding someone or someplace to take some of the burden off us.

    Love and luck to you and your family from Pumpkin's Mom.

  7. Hi Nancy,
    You are doing the best thing for you and your Mom. You will still be there for her but not 24 hours a day. You need to take care of you too..
    I know my Mom went through this with her Mom. My Parents are still able to live on there own, but a day may come when I have to face the same things you are going through.
    Big Big hugs, everything will work out.

  8. Thank you for sharing, I can't image how hard this has been

  9. We will send good vibes your way
    Benny & Lily

  10. We hope you can find a balance. Our thoughts and prayers are with you during this trying time.

  11. We know one day we may face THAT with The Doggy Nanny but fur now.....

    We do understand the toll it khan take - a furiend of ours is beginning to face the challenges with her own mom -

    Thanks fur sharing -

    AND don't furget to take time to smell the puppy fur!


  12. I'm so sorry. I can imagine that this is a difficult decision for you. However, I know that you probably realise that it's the right thing to do. My Mom is 87 and I dread the day when I have to make a decision like this.

    Hugs from me and Maggie!

  13. It's important that you realize you need help with your mom before completely wearing yourself out. You wouldn't be able to do anyone much good if you don't take care of yourself first!


  14. Oh Nancy, my heart goes out to you and to your Mom. I know you've had to make a heart wrenching decision, but...you can't be any good to someone else when you've been dragged down to the bottom, from worry, frustration, exhaustion etc. and all made worse because it's someone you love. You can't do it all yourself, it's just not humanly possible. So try to make the best choices for you both. I'll pray for you girlfriend.

    Hugs XX

  15. Nancy,
    Your post today is as if I had written about our life at my house. The only difference being in that it's my mother-in-law and she refuses to leave her townhome. We have become the caregivers. She fell and broke her hip and cracked her head open and knocked herself unconscious back in May and we thought that the event would finally make her "see the light".....that she needs to be in assisted living, that we can't provide the assistance that she needs. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case and she has since returned home, sent away all of her caregivers that were covered by her insurance and refuses to pay for someone to come in and help. I have a contact with A Place For Mom and I have talked to her on a few occasions through out the past 2 years but it's not been much but lists of places and that's it. What did A Place For Mom do for you? Maybe I'm not asking the right questions of them. Hang in their and bless you for being the kind, caring daughter that you are. <3

  16. You could not have made a better decision. You cannot do it all. We are only called to do what we are able with the strength we have. I read some good books before we moved my in-laws nearby a few months ago. My husband and I decided in advance what we would be able to do,and what we could not do not do for them. I'll be praying that all goes well. I know sometimes (many times) care giving is thankless on the receiving end and so draining to the core of our being. I applaud you!