Forgive all of the crew here.......we have been involved in major changes that are both painful and joyful....it required all of the physical and mental strength we had.
Many of you know that we moved my mother in with us a few years ago. At 90 we thought it was time. Mom kept here home up north and we allowed her to go back for a weekend, then a day, then an hour....finally we had to come to the realization that life would not return to the way it had been......and from that came the house sale.
We have a lot of memories in that home...birthday parties, graduation parties....preparing for weddings, preparing for funerals...event after event.
I grew up in that home. My family lived in it for nearly 50 years. Emotionally we were prepared to let go......we thought...
My parents grew up during the Depression..they knew what living without basic necessities was like...they were determined never to have that happen again. What we encountered over the last two months cured me of flea markets, maybe permanently...they saved everything....I mean EVERYTHING. Every time we thought we had gotten to the last box another appeared......and another.....and another....close to two hundred went to the Salvation Army. The furniture, another tale, involved going from not wanting to sell it, to wanting to sell it, to donating it, to pleading people to take it.
The poor menagerie here I suspect will not recover that quickly...total confusion while the boxes are opened and/or tossed...I am not sure who haz been most affected by all of it...certainly not Becky, who can only view it all like a big adventure. Angus, on the other hand whimpers a lot...and needs reassurance.
I don't want to visit another flea market again..not right now..maybe one day..but I have to tell you all that with the prospect of having my parents home spilled onto a blanket in a flea market, left me ill...and that was why it took that long to place everything.
Granted we have many boxes stored here now...we could not part with it all..in the end, I found myself hanging on to memories more than Mom...I think she was ready to let go...I clearly wasn't.
Clearly I am shell-shocked...I joked about the bottle of champagne we would open the day it was final...that did not happen...more of a quiet repose, following the end of an Era.Everything feels out of whack and uncertain. While we knew the day would come, I could not be there the last day..too many memories.
Now that the ranting and rambling of one very shell shocked blogger comes to a close, I have found that truly for every end, will be a new beginning....I just hope it will not involve cardboard boxes,tape and the dump.
We will be going on retreat beginning tomorrow, for a couple of days...we have to otherwise we will never be able to quiet the chatter and become grounded again..we are hoping to have the strength not to bring the laptop. The best way to unplug..don't bring anything that you have to plug in ;o)
We understand...
ReplyDeletePlease know we'll be thinking about all of you...
Khyra and Her Mom
Hugs coming your way from our whole clan - our Mom knows what it's like and how much energy it saps from your mind. We all love you guys.
ReplyDeleteXOXO
Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Ruairi
I am a long-time reader of your blog (I have a Scottie dog).
ReplyDeleteDe-lurking to say hello, and to say my heart goes out to you during this enormous transition. I know it must be difficult to face so many memories and decisions all at once. I'm glad you are making room for your mother in your home, too, as long as everyone is basically comfortable with this arrangement (including your mom). That is a major sacrifice on your part, and I respect it immensely.
I have grandparents of your mother's age, and they are currently living in a very nice independent-living facility; my grandmother has Alzheimers, which has grown worse over the years of course, and next week will be moving over to the more assisted side of the building. My grandfather had a difficult time reaching the decision to let her move, but it will be better for both of them. Of course, he can still see her anytime he likes, and eat with her, and spend time with her - but it was becoming too much for him to handle, being 90 himself.
I'm saying all this as background, since my mom has also had to help them clear away and reduce their belongings, which involved many years of memories. It was, as you said, easier for my grandparents to let go than for my mom.
As a contrast, a few years ago I helped clear out the home of my great-aunt who had passed away and - being of the same generation - had never let go of anything. Every aluminum pie pan, every plastic yogurt cup, every spare bit of twine, paper and everything else was tucked away in seemingly endless drawers and closets... on top of all the other STUFF that had accumulated over the years. Plus a lot of dust... LOTS of dust. That was hard work. I know you must have been going through something similar.
Anyway, VERY long post to say, I am thinking of you and SORT OF understand where you're coming from - not being in your exact shoes, obviously. Give those Scotties a hug and enjoy your retreat!
Erica
Ever since we moved my in-laws last year, I have been cleaning out my house. Moving them was such a challenge because my MIL with dementia wanted to keep every single thing. I hope you are getting some good rest.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Lallee
Please be well and know that those of us who don't comment often enough still care. ♥
ReplyDeleteNancy, you have been through so much and deserve a break. It is very difficult to have to do all that you do and I understand your pain.
ReplyDeleteThinking of all of you and wishing you peace...
xo
becky
Nancy,
ReplyDeleteMy heart is touched for you. We went through a very similar experience. My dad passed away suddenly and we had to break up his home. His parents migrated here from Sicily, my dad was born in the home, and they too lived through the depression. When we emptied the house we found my dad save every thing too. It was a bittersweet experience. I will pray for you and your mom. I hope you have a time of refreshing. Kiss your puppies for me.